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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323231">Spectral Disturbance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartlessMemo/pseuds/HeartlessMemo'>HeartlessMemo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>What We Do in the Shadows (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Paranormal Investigators</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:14:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartlessMemo/pseuds/HeartlessMemo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I say, my sweet chuckaboo…” Laszlo poked his head into the crypt, fingers dancing nervously at his sides. “Any chance of you popping down to the study for a quick chat?”</em>
</p><p>  <em>“I’m right here, Laszlo, why— ” Nadja looked up from polishing her favorite skull and screeched at the sight of her husband covered head-to-toe in gobs of glowing viscous fluid. “Laszlo! Have you been doing funny businesses with Nandor again?”</em></p><p>  <em>“No, my darling, I’m afraid it’s worse than that. It’s that damn ghost of yours.”</em> </p><p><em>Nadja gazed absently into the middle distance for a beat before slowly replying, “You have been doing funny businesses with...Jesk?”</em><br/>--<br/>The vampires hire a paranormal research group to deal with a stubborn haunting.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Jenna/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Spectral Disturbance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this ages ago and never posted it. Enjoy! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I say, my sweet chuckaboo…” Laszlo poked his head into the crypt, fingers dancing nervously at his sides. “Any chance of you popping down to the study for a quick chat?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m right here, Laszlo, why— ” Nadja looked up from polishing her favorite skull and screeched at the sight of her husband covered head-to-toe in gobs of glowing viscous fluid. “Laszlo! Have you been doing funny businesses with Nandor again?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, my darling, I’m afraid it’s worse than that. It’s that damn ghost of yours.”</p><p> </p><p>Nadja gazed absently into the middle distance for a beat before slowly replying, “You have been doing funny businesses with...Jesk?”</p><p> </p><p>At this moment, Nandor and Guillermo crowded up behind Laszlo in the hallway. Nandor suppressed an obnoxious snort at Nadja’s supposition, resulting in an irritable hiss and slap from Laszlo.</p><p> </p><p>“Nay! It’s <em>he</em> doing very unfunny business all over the household! You should see my study! Strange symbols on the walls. My precious volumes tossed through the air by invisible forces! Not to mention the personal attacks.” He gestured with a flourish to his bedraggled form. “Lambkin, it’s time you helped your boy-toy complete his unfinished business before the house falls to its very foundations!”</p><p> </p><p>Nandor, unwilling to be left out of the drama any longer, burst into the crypt with an officious scowl, “Really, Nadja! This is very poor roommate etiquette. Letting your boyfriend’s ghost haunt us all over the place! He turned poor Guillermo’s snacks into some kind of vile ghost juice!”</p><p> </p><p>Guillermo’s long-suffering voice sounded from out in the hallway. “Those were ice chips and they melted, master.”</p><p> </p><p>“As I said! Very disrespectful to my familiar! What are you going to do about this, Nadja? You can’t keep avoiding the situation just because you are afraid of your own feelings!”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long, awkward silence during which both Laszlo and Nadja stared pointedly between Nandor and Guillermo.</p><p> </p><p>Nandor’s face was a mask of smooth, blissful confusion. “<em>What?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Bloody turkey brains, all of you!” Nadja screeched, tossing the skull onto a pile of miscellaneous bones. “Don’t you see? Jesk is like a stupid, baby ghoul crying out for attention. If I answer him it will be like adding more fuel to a burning donkey.”</p><p> </p><p>The three men stared back at her in dazed confusion for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>Laszlo finally broke the silence. “Well, something needs to be done. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but these are desperate times, should we ring that zombie-diddling degenerate, Wallace?”</p><p> </p><p>“The necromancer?” Guillermo asked skeptically, forcing himself to straighten when all three vampires’ eyes focused on him with varying degrees of annoyance. In a softer tone he added, “We don’t want to resurrect him...do we?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not on your life!” Laszlo snapped before turning back to his wife. “But they may be able to make a referral?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“You know I’d like to help you out, love, but I don’t do ghost-busting. I’m strictly in the business of bringin’ ‘em back.” Wallace’s voice sounded tinny and distant on the vampires’ ancient rotary telephone. “But you’re in luck because I happen to have my finger on the pulse, as it were, of the Staten Island paranormal community and there’s a group who might be able to help…”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Wallace!” Nadja trilled, nearly shouting into the receiver. “You are a lifesaver!”</p><p> </p><p>Wallace chuckled and broke into a brief round of scatting as he scanned the message board by the entrance of his shop. “Ah! Here we are, The Forgotten Borough Paranormal Research Society…”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jenna turned to address the camera, the daunting facade of the mansion towering behind her. “Tonight the FBPRS is investigating a local private residence where the homeowners report experiencing strange noises, objects moving by themselves and even ectoplasm!”</p><p> </p><p>Looking back at the house she gasped in appreciation. “You guys if any place is guaranteed to get us our first real paranormal experience…!”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about, Jenna?” Shanice griped. “Are you forgetting about the pull...the putter...the poultry guise at the historical society? You saw the scratch marks on my arm!”</p><p> </p><p>“Weren’t you having an eczema flare up that week?” Derek arched a greasy eyebrow at her. </p><p> </p><p>Shanice looked ready to attempt a halting, stuttery retort when Jenna interrupted with a sharp hiss, “Guys! Act professional! These people are being terrorized in their own home by a vengeful spirit! We need to set them at ease with our cool, calm demeanor.”</p><p> </p><p>The trio of awkward yet enthusiastic young adults took an involuntary step back as the front door swung open. Perhaps they were expecting a groan of rusted hinges accompanied by a disembodied shriek. The smiling, bespectacled man in the stripy sweater didn’t exactly fit with the house’s aesthetic. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi, uh— ” Jenna shuffled her feet, self-consciously adjusting the Go Pro strapped to her forehead. “We’re the paranormal group?”</p><p> </p><p>The man, Guillermo, ushered them into the house with a tense smile. Once inside all three of them tipped their heads back in wonder. </p><p> </p><p>“Now<em> this </em> is a haunted house,” Derek remarked, clearly impressed. Jenna elbowed him and gave him a warning glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah! Are these the spectral detectives?”</p><p> </p><p>Jenna’s eyes rounded as she took in the stunning, oddly dressed woman floating elegantly down one of the grand curving staircases. Her skin was so pale that it glowed in the warm light of the chandelier over their heads. If Jenna didn’t know better she might have mistook her for an apparition.</p><p> </p><p>The woman’s red lips turned down in a frown as she came to stand before them. </p><p> </p><p>“I am Nadja,” she introduced herself and then turned to Guillermo. “Rather puny, aren’t they? How are these weaklings going to wrangle with the spirit of an ancient, fiercely passionate human warrior driven by the madness of lost love?”</p><p> </p><p>Jenna swallowed, her eyes unable to stray from the woman’s captivating face. “We can, uh...record Electronic Voice Phenomenon and...Derek brought his Spirit Box…”</p><p> </p><p>Nadja perked up. “Spirit box? For trapping his nasty ghost vapors for all eternity? Good, thinking De-drik. Drik.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shall I show you where he is lurking?” She tucked Jenna’s arm into the crook of her elbow and began dragging the human down the hallway. “I do not think you will be needing your electronic voice machine, little human. He’s quite loud without the use of gadgets.”</p><p> </p><p>The three humans entered the room behind Nadja and immediately ducked as a heavy, flapping atlas hurtled at their heads. Books and furniture were stacked in strange formations; lamps flickered and drawers shook open, spilling out reams of parchment. </p><p> </p><p>“So, as you can see we’ve got our hands full.” Nadja gestured around her with casual bemusement. “Eh, how long will the ghoul smashing take? Thirty minutes? An hour? My husband is being a witch’s arsehole about getting back into his study…”</p><p> </p><p>“Ghoul smashing? I think there’s been a misunder--” Derek was cut off by Shanice who smiled brightly at the strange woman. </p><p> </p><p>“Probably closer to an hour, uh, ma’am.”</p><p> </p><p>Nadja left them, closing the door behind her with a definitive click. Alone, the three humans looked at one another with expressions that mingled dread and exhilaration. </p><p> </p><p>“A certifiable haunting! Shanice, are you filming?!” Jenna squeaked.</p><p> </p><p>They moved cautiously through the room, occasionally hip checked by an angry drawer or attacked from above by a flying book like a bird of prey. They set the camera up on a tripod and Derek moved around measuring cold spots. Once she was ready with the EVP, Jenna started in on her standard questions.</p><p> </p><p>“Is there anyone in the room with us? If you want to talk, we’re here to listen…”</p><p> </p><p>“Finally!” The temperature plummeted and a blue luminescence in the corner suddenly drew their eyes. It was a full body apparition of a man leaning casually against the wall and smiling at them. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear someone say that…”</p><p> </p><p>Derek launched himself at Shanice and the pair clung to one another, screaming at the top of their lungs. Jenna froze, gaping at the ghost as her breath fogged in the frigid air.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you here to listen to my tale of woe?” the ghost asked.</p><p> </p><p>It was Jenna who finally mustered the nerve to answer. “Y-yes, of course! Do you think that’ll help you move on?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged. “Worth a shot, right?”</p><p> </p><p>They sat transfixed as the man, Gregor/Jeff, began his story. It was unbelievable and unbelievably<em> long </em>. He really liked the sound of his own voice. Jenna found herself glancing at her watch.</p><p> </p><p>“...And then the slimy jerk cut off my head again, stealing my Nadja away and condemning me to this half-life... And— uh— yeah, that’s about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jenna smothered a yawn, blinking her glassy eyes and murmuring, “Wowie zowie, mister. I’m sorry about all that. You didn’t deserve it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jesk clutched a hand to his heart, his eyes burning with intensity. “I...thank you!”</p><p> </p><p>Bright light pulsed around him and he began to fade away at the edges. The incessant background activity— the books shuffling and furniture groaning— came to a halt as his figure suddenly vanished. </p><p> </p><p>The three friends stared at one another in mute shock.</p><p> </p><p>Derek finally broke the silence. <em> “Holy Sh--” </em></p><p> </p><p>The door slammed open and Nadja entered wearing a pleased smile. “It’s finished? You’ve trapped his pathetic spirit?”</p><p> </p><p>Jenna spoke in a daze, “Yeah, I think he crossed over. It was actually amazing--”</p><p> </p><p>“Excellent!” Nadja interrupted. Jenna suddenly noticed that her eyes were unnaturally bright and her smile looked...hungry. “Quick question: are you all virgins?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jenna awoke as if from a deep sleep, slowly shaking her head to clear the cobwebs. Her eyes danced around her, a ball of dread forming in her stomach. She was sitting on a dilapidated old couch in an unfamiliar room. Shanice and Derek were nowhere to be found. The room was dim, lit only by candles, and featured the same macabre decor as the rest of the strange old mansion. She scanned the walls, eyes flicking over ancient portraits, shelves full of musty volumes and— was that a human skull?</p><p> </p><p>“You must have a great power, little chicky.” Nadja’s voice sent a shockwave down Jenna’s spine. She spun around in her seat to find the dark beauty stalking toward her from a shadowy corner.  “To defeat such an insufferable spirit...” Nadja’s eyes were changing. A feral, golden light glowed in the dark irises. She came closer still, looming over Jenna. “Tell me, Jenna, are you as tasty as your friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“What!?” Jenna’s eyes focused on the sharp points of Nadja’s canines as her mouth opened in a predatory leer. Her hind brain frantically urged her to flee, but something about this dark, deadly, beautiful stranger called to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t fear, little human. I am going to give a great gift for helping me tonight,” Nadja said with an indulgent smile. “And anyway I filled up on your friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Nadja lunged. The last thing Jenna felt before passing out was the burning pain of twin fangs piercing her neck. </p><p><br/>
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